Nerd, Glutton, Escapist.

So, I think I have become MORE of a nerd in my 'old' age. If that is even possible. Those of you who knew me in high school may find this shocking. But, it is true. Now I walk my children to the library with my giant belly garnering stares the whole mile and a half there. Then, I trapse through the doors and detectors just barely because my stroller is the double wide version. Everyone kinda holds their breath for me as they watch or offer to open an additional door. (As I smile and think to myself, 'you can't really widen those detectors and aisle for me could ya?') If you haven't picked up on the nerdy aspect yet, just hang on.

Then I practically skip to the holds section. And look at the bottom shelf. Because usually I have too many books on hold to fit on the shelf where my last name would place them. And there is a thing of beauty. (Of sorts, though according to Kant, I may even be tempted to call it sublime as I am appalled at my own amibition.) This week it was a pile so big I wasn't sure it would all fit in the stroller for the trek home. You know, when you won't let your kids out of the stroller because it will tip backwards without their counter weight. And the variety, oh the wonderful variety. From Margaret Wise Brown, Allan Ahlberg, Eric Carle and company to James Joyce, Immanuel Kant, George Eliot, Greg Epstein and Elizabeth Edwards. I still haven't finished my last round of indulgence from the library. And like a glutton I'm back at the Ryan's cafeteria line for my umpteenth helping of fried okra and mac and cheese.

I tell myself that it is just one of the ways I cope with this stage of life. The lonliness that comes from being around toddlers all day every day and many nights home alone while husband works fighting fires. Sometimes I need the distraction, sometimes the deeper mental engagement than comes with made up words and tent building and sometimes, I realize this is quite possibly more of an escape than a coping.

But I don't mind one bit.